Tuesday 11 June 2024

Day 7: We're not the Flintstones

 No running a stone car with our feet or a pet dino conveniently named Dino. Nope, today we made it back to neolithic times and the iron age as we explored the west coast of Mainland Orkney.

We were still awake at a stupid hour of the morning, and needed more coffee than we had time for, but we had to be ready for Graham at 9 as our day was chock-full of planned stops.  If you ever come to Orkney, we highly recommend you get in contact with Graham, as not only is he a native Orcadian, but also he has a quiet pride in the place which is admirable.

Our first stop was to what is probably the most famous tourist site on Orkney, Skara Brae. Coming to Orkney and not going to Skara Brae would be like traveling to Toronto and not seeing the CN Tower.  It would just be wrong.  As we didn't want to be wrong, we braved the wind and spitting rain (if you don't accept the wind and rain, you're not accepting the islands) although we're not entirely sure how much of it Dad saw.  Here's why:

I'm pretty sure that's Dad underneath all those layers, but I can't be a hundred percent sure.

Mum, on the other hand, braved the weather with more aplomb.


For those of you unfamiliar with Skara Brae, it's a 5000 year old neolithic village that was uncovered when a storm blew off the sand covering the place. Orkney winds, when they mean it, mean it.  It's the most complete example of its kind in all of Europe so it's a very impressive place.  I really wanted Mum and Dad to see it as I got to 25 years ago but then I was with the Principal Teacher for History from the secondary school in Kirkwall, so we just got waved through and were allowed to crawl in and out of the houses as long as there weren't other tourists.  Having returned to Skara Brae, I now know I was actually in the workshop and house two before I got too nervous about disturbing a UNESCO world heritage site and made my way back to the path.

Also not there 25 years ago: the amazing visitor centre and cafe.  I picked up yet more Christmas presents, including the most awesome item of clothing with Viking cartoons on it, and Dad warmed himself up with a cup of much needed hot chocolate.  


Skara Brae achievement unlocked!


 From Skara Brae we drove the west coast until we came to the old Viking capital, Birsay.  Unlike Scalloway in Shetland, Birsay is a very tiny little settlement that various people in power kept trying to make happen, like Earl Robert Stewart, who built a now ruined Earl's Palace there.  Despite a whole bunch of people with money trying to make fetch happen (if you get that reference, well done) Birsay never took off.  This is good as Kirkwall makes more sense anyway.  Trust me, if you were here and saw both places, you'd understand.

We had lunch reservations at the Merkister Hotel which, like The Kirk Cafe, is in the middle of nowhere.  Apparently, Orkney has a habit of putting excellent establishments in the middle of nowhere. The Merkister Hotel overlooks Harray Loch, which is extremely popular with fisherman.  If you want to catch brown trout, that's the place to go.  Even Graham's father is an avid fisherman there and Graham wondered if he was going to run into his dad.

The above picture was the view from our table.  It was magnificent and very proudly Orcadian.  That's the Orkney flag flying there and if it screams to you "we love our Norwegian roots" then it has done its job.

Lunch was leisurely and Dad ate a whole tonne of food.  Dad's not usually a lunch eater so this was a surprise.  It's like the Orkney air is good for him or something.  After lunch, we decided it would have to be a light dinner.

Next, we drove to see the Stones of Stenness and the Ring of Brodgar. The latter of which is, according to lore, a bunch of giants and fiddler who stayed up to late partying and got stuck there.  It must've been a great party.

Both of these henges are older than Stonehenge, which is something every Orcadian needs to be sure tourists know.  Scotland beat you, England!  The stones also came from 10 kilometres away from where they were placed, so either the neolithic people had some ingenious ways of moving heavy things, or they were all competitors in a strongman competition.

We drove up to Yesnaby which is a lookout over the Atlantic Ocean.  It's also the only place on Mainland Orkney where you can see the Old Man of Hoy.  I would post the picture, but it's terrible, and I want to keep up a pretense that I'm good at this vacation photo thing.  For Canadians, the Old Man of Hoy is a stone stack like Flowerpot Island off of Tobermory but like, 10 times taller.  People actually climb this thing for fun.  Their definition of fun and mine are totally different.

Finally, we headed into Stromness, where our tour guide, Graham, was the Principal Teacher of History at the secondary school.  25 years ago, I missed out on Stromness so I was excited to see it.  There are a lot of comparisons to be made to Lerwick, including the main commercial street requiring walkers to plaster themselves against the walls of the buildings when a car drives through.  Sure, the buildings have a similar style, and it's right on a natural harbour, but the main comparison is the plastered pedestrians.

We went to the Stromness Museum which is little but perfectly formed.  Graham had told us that once upon a time two thirds of British men working for the Hudson's Bay Company, back when 1) it was a global influence and 2) still a major force in Canada, were Orcadian.  The museum had a lovely display about the HBC, and we were all taken aback by the recruitment poster.

We debated the very important question of how long until that person in the poster freezes to death in a northern prairie or arctic winter.  There's trying to sell something to look stylish, and then there's losing all your toes to frostbite.

The museum had a very extensive exhibit on John Rae, who I mentioned yesterday, including a hilarious cartoon that I am cursing myself for not taking a picture of. Still, Mum, Dad, and I learned a lot about everything mentioned previously, and also Orkney geology, The Royal Oak, the death of the guy on the "Your Country Wants You" posters, and more about Scapa Flow.  

 


I might also have picked up some more presents for my brother because I am a very, very good sibling.

The drive back gave us another view of Scapa Flow, which really is a site to behold, and then we came back to Kirkwall.  Somehow, it was already 5 o'clock and we had to say goodbye to Graham, though, and I will happily repeat, we would be happy to recommend if you're coming to Orkney.

Dinner was a light affair, though we somehow forced ourselves to make room for dessert.  Dad and I split a lemon tart, and Mum had rhubarb crisp and custard.  She was a happy woman.

Tomorrow is our first day off since our trip began.  We plan to do things like mail postcards, and send home some of the stuff we've picked up already to save weight in our luggage.  Given I was carrying our souvenirs in the hellscape that was Edinburgh Airport, I learned I was one kilogram off the maximum weight for my suitcase.  Something's got to go.

Anyone want a postcard from Orkney?


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